Does Size Matter Yes – (And two IS better than one)
By: FANON
Every woman gets the urge at some time – and wonders ‘Should I give it a try?’ My answer is a resounding yes. If you’ve never tried it, you’ll never know what you’ve missed.
Like most things worthwhile, it takes practice, and pain usually precedes the pleasure. However, if you let yourself relax and are prepared to take in all that’s on offer, believe me, you will never look back. More importantly, once you have the hang of it, and are indulging every day, you can start advertising your prowess, and offering your services. That way you will not only be enjoying your new habit, but make money doing it.
Like any good artist or tradesperson, it is important that right from the start you select the right tools, and always have a good supply available. And size DOES matter.
How do I prepare myself?
How do I make a start?
What size is best then?
How many should I have?
Where is it best to put them?
How do I take in all that’s on offer?
How often should I do it?
Where should I advertise?
How much will I make?
There are so many questions it seems. Much will depend on how strong your urge is, and in what directions they lay. Let’s take the questions above and see how I tackled initially:
In my case, it was not so much ‘getting the urge’ as having it forced upon me. I’d always been happy to indulge in the absolute minimum necessary to keep those that mattered happy. However, following contracting a generous dose of cancer, and being given a life-expectancy prognosis of a few months, I figured ‘what the hell – you only live once, so I’m gonna enjoy myself to the full.’ As I spent most of my time in bed the options open to me were fairly limited: What CAN you do in bed all day that is enjoyable? Painting was out – far too messy. Knitting? Crocheting? Needlework? – not likely – I wanted something far more stimulating. So I ended up doing – you’ve guessed it – writing… Now those questions:
How do I prepare myself? Firstly, learn to type. Any typewriter or computer will do to practice on. With an hour’s practice a day you will be proficient in no time. You can download ‘Freebie’ typing courses off the Web, or borrow one free from your library.
How do I make a start? – I furnished myself with what I consider the basic tools: A stack of pens/pencils, a notebook, dictionary, thesaurus, a laptop computer (you may prefer a desktop one), with word processor, a printer and a few reams of middle-weight A4 size paper. I invested in a modem to get access to the Internet, subscribed to ‘WRITERS’ MONTHLY magazine, and bought a copy of ‘WRITERS’ AND ARTISTS’ YEAR BOOK’, and set to work.
Always have a notebook to hand. Wherever you are, if an idea comes into your head, or you see or hear anything that you can use later – jot it down at once: If you don’t you will forget it later.
What size is best then? – I’ve seen this same question in unrelated polls, the general consensus is the same – Six inches by Four inches: This is an ideal size for your all essential notebook: It is small enough to hold in the palm of your hand, yet large enough to hold copious notes; small enough to slip in a handbag, on the mantelpiece, bedside locker, gym bag, brief-case, toilet, or leave on the kitchen workspace. (As well as larger dictionaries, a small one you can slip in your handbag is useful too.) Your laptop should be small and light and used only for writing and surfing. As such, the cheapest will do. It will not require a fast CPU, or large Hard Disk, or massive RAM, or fast Graphics card. Suitable ones can be picked up off places like ‘EBAY’ or other online auctions for a song. Likewise, your printer – a simple ‘inkjet’ capable of printing on A4 paper is adequate, and costs just a few pounds/dollars.
How many should I have? – Certainly half a dozen notebooks and three dozen pens/pencils. And at least one CONCISE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, Everyman’s DICTIONARY OF QUOTATIONS AND PROVERBS, Brewer’s DICTIONARY OF PHRASE AND FABLE, Roget’s THESAURUS, Chambers’ BIOGRAPHICAL DICTIONARY. If you can afford a PDA as well as a laptop all the better.
Where is it best to put them? – Have notebooks in all the places mentioned above, and anywhere else you may suddenly get inspiration: You may be listening to the radio in the kitchen and hear an anecdote, be sat on the loo and recall an amusing incident, or hear an amusing remark from a child as you wait in the supermarket queue. (Jotting something in a small notebook is unlikely to upset anyone or draw undesired attention to you.)
How do I take in all that’s on offer? – Use the Internet to visit writing groups and boards. Read what others have written; Analyse and digest any critique that articles or stories receive. Join one or more groups (longstoryshort and writespots are two I belong to), and submit your own offerings for comment – then learn from the answers you receive. Most of all – if you are serious – take one or more of the many writing courses available on the Internet. (But do be choosey and don’t be ripped of.) There are dozens available, starting from a few dollars/pounds like the excellent LSS School of Writing , to others costing a fortune.
One other thing you must do is critique the work of others. In so doing you will note their errors and refrain from committing the same mistakes yourself.
How often should you do it? – Whenever you feel like it, but at least once a day. If you want do be a writer – whether as a hobby, to make a few pennies, or make a living writing – you MUST write something every day. Once you get the habit it becomes second nature, and as with all things, it takes regular practice to approach perfection.
Where should I advertise? – Once satisfied you have polished and edited your work to a high standard, then submit it to the appropriate editors. If it is any good they will tell you so. Build up a ‘credit’ of published articles and stories, then mention these when you submit other work, and you could be on your way to fame and fortune:
How much will you make? – Whatever you submit to an editor, MAKE SURE it is suitable for the type of magazine or material that the editor publishes. Also, MAKE SURE you follow the submission guidelines. And MAKE SURE it is clean, tidy, and presentable, and that you supply an adequately sized and stamped self-addressed envelope if you want the MSS returning.
A short article may net you $25 – A book as popular as ‘HARRY POTTER’ will make you a Millionaire. At the very least, you will be enjoying your newfound skills.
FANON writes stories and books for children and adults. Get some FREE from ” www.writespots.com ” and ” www.longstoryshort.us ”
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